Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

A view of the world from an Irish hole

Category: Irish health service

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The Cult of Personality in Cavan

Cults of personality are usually associated with despotic regimes. The freedom and wealth of the people usually stand in inversed proportion to the ego of their leader…The cult of Personality can take bizarre forms, as in Turkmenistan under the rule of the Turkmenbashi himself, Saparmarad Niyazov who had a statue erected of himself atop a plinth which moved full circle every twenty-four hours; one of the three television stations actually carried an image of the Turkmenbashi in the far right-hand corner. Less extreme, but still ridiculous manifestations of the egos of the political establishment involved the naming of airports after the president, as in Kenya during the rule of Daniel arap Moi, or the plastering of the leader’s portrait on every available wallspace..  I remember Alexei Sayles going on a televised visit to Syria during the reign of Hafez al-Assad, where he noted with his unique sense of irony, that the President’s image was to be seen on each corner and shop window. This reminded him of the publicity that might attend a performance by an artist or comedian when the ticket sales  had gone really badly and the promoters sought to boost the eventual crowds by a barrage of advertising in the hope of fending off a flop

It is usual in most parts of the democratic world to wait until someone is dead a decent time before they are commemorated by having a building, a road, or a fountain named after them. Cavan town is an exception where it is accepted that egotistical nobodies can be commemorated before they have gone the way of all flesh. I refer to an area near Drumalee Cross which I pass on my daily “fun run” which proudly bears the moniker Cullivan Court. As the building is partly owned by one Gabriel Cullivan, formerly a town clerk of the town, I assume that it has been named in his honour, and not that of the well-known and much-loved architect , the late Phil Cullivan. This is like an annex of Wall Street being renamed Boesky Boulevard or Madoff Parade. While such dreadful and unseemly self-promotion may appear tasteless, it must be remembered that Mr Cullivan, as a former employee of that shower of vindictive cowards Cavan County Council, can do what he likes – he has done it in the past – and should anyone demur, one of the sycophantic elected members of the council would propose a motion of “tanks to Mr Cullivan for his sterlin’ work” on behalf of himself and the people of Cavan over the years.

I need hardly mention that one of Cullivan Court’s biggest tenants is none other than the HSE – another crowd of arrogant, incompetent  anda superannuated shites. All that is needed there is the erection of a pillar surmounted by a statue of Mr Cullivan, maybe sporting the green leprechaun suit he wore  at the opening of the County Museum fifteen years’ ago and which was commented upon with so much mirth and derision by the then County Arts Officer, Ms Catriona O’Reilly. (I know that the present County Arts Officer is also  called Ms Catriona O’Reilly but she is altogether a different person from the one I referred to.

I expect these comments will meet with a frisson of disapproval, maybe even a threat of legal action, but my response is Bring it on baby! Some of them may even say that I shouldn’t be going so far on my fun run. Am I not confined to a wheelchair, and should I not come to terms with my disability like other cripples in the county by accepting my permanent inferiority to Cavan County Council, its employee and their families (more or less the same thing) by awaiting the grant of a council house?

 

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Kenny the lawyer

We all know that Enda Kernny is a schoolteacher by profession, but some will recall the incident when the late Frank Sherwin stated in the Dail that the then taoiseach, John A. Costello, was a liar. He was immediately upbraided by the Ceann chomhairle, but Frank responded by saying he had merely stated that he was a lawyer.

 Now Enda Kenny7’sw refusal to come clean about his statements regarding Roscommon hospital remind me of the joke about the guy from the wrong side of the tracks who is boxing above his weight in the relationship stakes. He had met a girl from a very rich family and they decide to get married. Her family is naturally horrified, but they decide to invite him to dinner at their mansion. The meal goes very well until the end of the final course when our hero unmistakeably breaks wind with a multi-barrel fart, causing the cut glass crystal on the table to shatter. What should he do? Should he:

         A       Make a bee-line for the nearest exist and disappear back into the ghetto?B

.          B.   Take out his cheque-book and offer to pay for any damage? Or

          C.       Stand up on his chair and challenge anyone present to do better?

 I think Enda has gone for option C, but he may find he face3s a lot of competition from other fibbing politicians of all parties.

 But honestly, he should do the decent thing and sign up for the next series of What’s my lie?

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Sex, lies and audiotape

One of the most unfortunate aspects of Enda Kenny’s foray into the highways ad byways of mendacity is that it was caught on tape. The experiences of Brian “head-the-ball” Lenihan Sr with the research assistant should have been enough to warn Enda of the wisdom of the old paradigm “Whatever ya say say nothin’” As a result all future public meetings involving Enda or leading members of the government will be banned and will be before a “guests only” audience, which will be strip-searched beforehand for any concealed recording equipment. All meetings ibvolving Enda organised by Fine Gael will be open only to those who can show a clean Fine Gael pedigree, including a signed testimonial by General O’Duffy or the local bishop concerning their involvement in the struggle against communism in Spain will be sufficient. What is more the party leader will not so much speak as address his audience through sign language, If that doesn’t go down well with the punters recourse may be had to an old trick employed by Enver Hoxha in Albania – a lookalike will be put in to replace the real Enda Kenny. He will look and talk like him, but if  such a figure cannot be located someone of equal height and similar accent will be forced to undergo plastic surgery until he resembles the real Enda. This person will make all of Enda’s speeches and if he makes any commitments about keeping a brothel open or extending the opening hours for a VD clinic, the government can immediately say: “It wasn’t Enda what said it”.

 It is a bit rich now to claim that he made the commitment without knowing that Roscommon hospital was a death-trap, to be avoided by all healthy people. Surely, if that was the case, some of the politicos in Roscommon would have alerted him to it. And how can a hospital, parts of which were built only in the last ten years, have dilapidated to such third world conditions? If it is true surely those charged with its maintenance, and who got paid to keep it on par with health facilities elsewhere, have a case to answer.

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Enda’s porkies

So an taoiseach Enda Kenny has finally been outed as a purveyor of porky pies. What is his excuse? “Ah well, sure I heard about  the hospital and they were all sorta cheerin’ like an’ I lost the head.” Maybe like John A. Costello, on declaring Ireland a republic, Enda had had a few. Maybe he is like a former taoiseach, no names mentioned, whose truthfulness was brought into question by a mutual friend who said: “Yan fella will always say what he thinks ya wanta hear. Ya mightav bought a new car an’ he’d come up tya an shake your hand an’ say ‘That’s a powerful cyar yev just bought yerself’ even though the world might know it was a haip o’ shite”. Enda has been round the houses long enough by now. He’s the father of the Dail. He’s not like some neophyte TD full of aspirations, who promises free condoms (of any flavour) every week, a free orgasm each month, all under the slogan “A vote for me is a shag for you.”. But once elected a sordid reality check kicks in. The new boy (and I’m not being sexist here. Most women know it already) discovers that he is only a member of the legislature, the poor relation amongst the powers (Did someone say Powers? Thanks, with lots of ice) and that the real power in the land are the un-elected heads of Civil Service Departments, parastatals and other associated quangos. No, the fact is Enda’s only defence is to sing that song beloved of Morecombe & Wise. “Why did you believe me when I said I loved you when you know I’ve been a liar all my life?”

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HSE waste

Government cannot condone waste = Brian Cowen

Let’s give it in the neck to vampirism – Count Dracula

Give me chastity and continence – but not yet – St Augustine of Hippo.

Just a sample of the comments about the discovery of a catalogue of waste of public money and serious breaches of corporate governance, financial oversight and procurement” within the Health Service Executive, involving the SKILL programme operated by the HSE in conjunction with the Trades Union SIPTU.

 One can shrug one’s shoulders about dodgy conduct in the HSE, saying “What have they done now?” but SIPTU is one of our largest trade unions. What smells very much like larceny of public funds has occurred with the connivance of its officials. SIPTU should be protecting workers’ rights and conditions; its officials should not be feathering their own nest, either alone or in tandem with others.

 A slogan much used, abused and over-used by New Labour was “Tough on Crime, Tough on the causes of Crime”. What makes people steal? Poverty and deprivation can certainly play their part, though the bewigged perverts of the Judiciary have traditionally dismissed this as a motive. The erudite and opinionated Francis Bacon once wrote “opportunity makes the thief” and certainly temptation can be great, especially if you are starving.  But when those who do the stealing are already financially secure, or far more secure than the rank and file of society, we have to ask this question again. Is it psychological and social deviance, an example of grown up people reverting to their childhood and their desire to stick their tongues out at people? Ort is it something which reflects far more on the rottenness of our institutions and their personnel, be they executive, legislative or judicial? they steal because they think they can get away with it.

 And indeed we do not know the identities of those in the HSE whose lack of financial oversights and managerial competence have led to his debacle. We may never know, but one thing we can be fairly certain about is that they will never face legal or criminal sanction. In other words they will never stand before a member of the Eighteenth-century Themed Fancy Dress Party that is known as the Courts. Even if they did, they will meet up with people who will be unlikely to chastise them. Our judges are not arbiters of the Law, still less of Justice, but Social Policemen – there to ensure that no member of the establishment ever suffers for their misdeeds, and that the only ones who go to prison are the poor – if you don’t believe me, ask the Department of Justice how many “Middle Class” people there are in prison at the moment. Chances are they won’t be able to answer the question. So anyone who has stolen big, and I’m not talking about people who might have been benefiting from a few “nixers” with the labour” and who are guilty bye virtual of simply being poor, will not see the inside of a jail. Heavens, such dreadful places! It would ruin their health, lead to social obloquy as well as expulsion from their golf and rotary clubs.  This is in contrast to France, a truly republican nation, which has no qualms about hailing high0born miscreants. As a result of this unspoken impunity from prosecution, they won’t even be brought before a court. Instead they will be “retired”. This means that they will be given a nice, handsome golden handshake and allowed to ride off into the sunset of consultant land, together with a nice pension. This is their reward for wrongdoing. Surely, if our state wished to dissociated itself from such misdeeds, but yet it did not (maybe for sentimental reasons) wish these people to face a trail, they should just simply be dismissed, without a lump sum, without a pension, and made to experience the reality faced by those vile, horrible ordinary people – who incidentally pay their wages.

 Ask many a white-collar criminal whether they see anything wrong in what they do and they’ll probably answer with a laugh, “getting caught”.” But so many of our white-collar thieves don’t have to worry about being found out. The penalties are, let’s face it, hardly onerous.

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For Farce say FAS again

A week can’t go by without a story about malversation in the State training body FAS, and today brings news that two private contractors involved in the provision of training are being looked into by the cops.

 So FAS is being diddled by the crowd at the top, jetting off en famille on first-class air tickets and staying in the poshest of hotels, while lower down some of those who should be providing training may be on the fiddle. And let us not forget the consummate ease with which the wives of senior management figures could get onto FAS schemes – but the poor dears had to get out of the house you know.The victims who have apparently been forgotten about are those who look to an organisation like FAS to provide training in skills that may, in theory, improve their chances in the jobs market. It is symbolic that so many members f Ireland’s well-connected elite have always seen it instead as yet another cash cow. But those people are poor, and the poor are always with us, and if they are poor it’s their own fault. Yes, I agree Veuve Clicquot ’72 was a good year but it wasn’t a patch on ’61, I have a full crate of it, well actually I nicked it from daddy shortly before he keeled over, and that wasn’t the only thing I nicked from him…

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The HSE’s problems understanding money

I recall how many years ago I did a bit of public relations work. One of my accounts was publicising a very worthy first-aid course being organised by a section of a then existing Health Board. This was aimed particularly at those with safety responsibility in firms and companies who might not have any formalised first-aid training. I designed an advert for the course and went about placing it in various magazines. The prices charged for this were by no means excessive, but they were to be met by the Health Board. I remember thinking that the charge from one magazine was a little excessive in that it was higher than the others, but not to an exorbitant degree. The advertisement was duly carried in all the publications to which it had been submitted. When I had the advert placed I sent the list of the various rates charged to the health board. Not long afterwards I received a telephone call from a health board official complaining that the rate charged by one magazine was truly excessive and “was just too high”. I honestly felt as if I was being accused of feathering my own nest with the amount charged, and being an individual who does not suffer fools gladly I informed the official that if he had any issues with the magazines and their advertising rates, he should take it up with them directly and not with me, and I put the ‘phone down.

 Some time later I told my story to a friend who worked in the higher echelons of the Civil Service. He asked me what the rate was of the apparently overcharging magazine, and when he heard it he collapsed into raucous laughter. He explained that he knew that the Civil Service regularly spent a hundred times as much on items of advertising and never even bothered to follow up whether the advertisements had been printed a tall.

 The Health boards and their successor, the HSE seem to have a schizophrenic attitude to money. They don’t really seem to understand what it is or what it is for. When it comes to spending money on anything connected with the provision of health care services they are seized with mind-numbing parsimony, as if they are giving the money out of their own pockets, but when it comes to handing out money, which is public money, to their friends and well-wishers they see it as no different from confetti.

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Paying over the odds in the HSE

Last week’s Irish edition of the Sunday Times (October 26th) told how the Health Service Executive have discovered that they have overpaid some of their staff by about 5 million euro and how they are endeavouring to claw this back. The article also disclosed that the difficulties encountered by HSE management in realising just who got what, and who was overpaid, are compounded by the existence of no less then ten separate payroll systems in the organisation. Once somebody goes from one payroll environment to the next, they effectively die. The HSE has written to those whom they suspect of having been overpaid, requesting them to pay back the surplus. The response has been well, disappointing to say the least, so they are faced with having to hire external solicitors (at eye-watering cost) to try and pursue the overpaid millions.

 What type of a setup i.e. mess are they operating? I know the experience of many people in the HSE who work in the front line f the provision of services. The HSE’s accounting year rungs from the end of March of one year to the equivalent date in the following. Staff members who have outstanding holiday entitlements are faced with a stark choice: use them or lose them. These entitlements cannot be carried forward. Why? Because that‘s the message from the top, and that’s the way it is, has always been, and always will be – period. Occasionally these entitlements have been run up because HSE executives have been compelled to work beyond their contracts maybe at the behest of HSE management, or in order to try and provide something equivalent to a service.  But as at least one HSE employee has told me. “Ya might as well be idle. If you give 150 per cent to the job you are treated the same as if you only gave 50 per cent. The HSE doesn’t give a … (expletives deleted). So each March many providers of front line services in the HSE are compelled to absent themselves, and naturally they are not replaced and they don’t receive any cover. This causes untold hardship to hundreds if not thousands of people.

 The answer to this? Change the system so as to allow people to bring their holiday entitlements forward from one year to the next. It wouldn’t cost anything and couldn’t add to the deficit. But it would challenge the mentality of the HSE which is apparently deep-frozen/

 The fact is such management wouldn’t be able to manage a public lavatory for dogs. They are a disgrace, but yet in the anticipated round of health payment cuts you can bet your bottom dollar that they will be safe.

The fact that the Irish health service is in such a mess rests fairly and squarely in the hands of those who administer and manage it. We can blame the politicians – and believe me, they have a lot to answer for, not least the current minister – but we can change the government tomorrow morning and the mess would stay the same, as those in charge remain, just that, in charge, come what may: winter, spring, summer or fall. And their reaction to the suffering which results from this blinkered thinking? “Ah sure, they should b in the VHI.”

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Prescription charges

The Irish Department of Health has introduced a 50 cent charge on each prescribed item. When my 90 year old father heard this he couldn’t get to sleep,. His doctor prescribes him maybe a dozen items each month and he was horrified with the prospect of his miserly pension being swallowed up.

 Why is it that the ordinary old people of Ireland have to suffer in this way?

 Those right-wingers who inform the minister’s policy should bear in mind that you can hardly tell someone who is ninety years of age that they should get a job and stop being a burden. The alternative, which no doubt would be favoured by these nameless neo-cons, is to let the old and the sick die. That way the balance of payments will be healthier and strong, able-bodied, hard-working people will not have to deal with part of their hard-earned cash having to go to maintain in life those whose “best before” dates have long expired and who are only be kept alive by a misplaced sense of sentimentalism. Such views are akin to Nazism, and I think it is only fair to add that my father fought Nazism and nearly lost his life on numerous occasions doing so, whereas the parents of Mary Harnery’s officials probably had their ears glued to their radio sets listening to Lord Haw-Haw during World War 2.

 The cynical nature of these charges can be seen in the refusal of the Minister to make a waver for those who are terminally ill. The sick logic should be abundantly clear here. “Let them die”, and then if they’re dead they can’t vote against the government – but these people have relatives.

 Have these people no consciences?

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The truth about the HSE

Speakers at the recent hospital consultants’ conference in Limerick have revealed what most people knew for ages: the HSE is but one more example of a costly administrative balls up which may have seemed a good idea at the time but has ended up being an expensive white elephant.

 In effect, the HSER brought together all of the existing Health Boards and amalgamated them in one behemoth. All of the bad elements in the old health boards were retained of course. So the HSE contains all of the old incompetence, inefficiency and rudeness. The culture of its clerical staff – the important people you know – is that work is a four-letter word describing a distressing activity which sometimes breaks out between tea breaks – that’s if they have actually come into work at all, and haven’t found some excuse for taking a “sicky”. The “enemy” remains “The Public”, that vast amorphous crowd of wingers and complainers whose raison d’etre is to prevent health board officials from making their undisturbed way through the day till knocking-off time. Naturally, the public must be treated with disrespect and disdain.

 We have also learned that the amalgamation of health boards into the HSE did not lead to any job reductions. In fact, according to anecdotal evidence, the numbers employed by some branches of the HSE continues to rise. While there may be a recruitment moratorium in force, “at national level” some relatives of local politicians continue to be taken on as “temporary” staff, and like all things temporary they become permanent in the fullness of time.

 It goes without saying that I am not referring here to those in “frontline” services who actually deal with people and who must put up with the bullying of the HSE’s bloated administrative and managerial staff. The vast majority of front-liners believe that they have a duty to place their skills at the service of the public, whereas the latter group have one duty and that is to themselves. The managerial cohort believes that they also owe an absurd duty to a group of selfish, super-rich and super-healthy people who if they ever get sick will never have to rub shoulders or clink bedpans with the great unwashed. 

 As I joked to a man who was forced to take early retirement because he just couldn’t stand the way in which his attempts to provide something like a service within an ever more oppressive environment. “You know the great thing about the HSE? Add the letters I and T to the initials and you get SHITE.”

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