Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

A view of the world from an Irish hole

Category: Bureaucracy

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Some thoughts on Cavan’s fleadh

As a naïve of Cavan town I naturally hope that this year’s coming of the Fleadh is a great success. A lot of people, many of whom will never be mentioned or who hope never to be mentioned, have worked hard to bring this about.  It provides a perfect showcase for performing traditional Irish music in an informal environment and the efforts of our local musicians, many with reputations that transcend the local like Martin bin Laden, should be commended. The following comments should not be viewed as carping, or an attempt to piss on someone else’s parade. They are my heartfelt comments, and I don’t see why they should be discarded, merely because they make a small handful uncomfortable.

 The Gonzo Theatre

 I am unfortunate enough to have mobility problems, which I am endeavouring to overcome. A number of events associated with the fleadh are to take place in locations to which I (along with other disabled people) would have trouble gaining access. One of these is The Gonzo Theatre above the Imperial. This sounds like a really cool place, while pictures appearing in Fuckyez Magazine suggest that it offers numerous possibilities for the practising ornithologist. As far as I know you can only get into it by a flight of stairs. This is not Philip Doherty’s fault. Philip is an exceedingly talented writer who has the rare gift of being able to work in a variety of genres. Philip has furthermore undertaken to help me get to the Theatre, something that would be possible as stairs do not present an impassable barrier to me. I am sorry that, until now, I haven’t felt well enough to take him up on his kind invitations.

Lie down croppy boy!

There are, I feel, some associated with the Arts in Cavan who are not in the least worried whether I can get there or not. Have I not bitten the hand that fed me? They may be surprised that “a cripple” or someone in a wheelchair would want to attend a show, along with “normal” people. Why can’t “they” be content with their own entertainment provided in venues like the IWA centre in Corlurgan, featuring plays that have been written especially about them? Or they could “shadow” (for free) consultants and “access auditors” employed by the county council (no doubt not for free) to draw up reports pointing out access black spots.

Coming to terms

Maybe I’m writing this because I am angry, or because I haven’t “come to terms” with my disabilities. True, if “coming to terms” with my disabilities means participating in a racket whereby the disabled are bribed into a state of submission as they wait for their number to come up in a council house lottery, I have not “come to terms” and never will. But I do not accept that I should “come” to someone else’s terms.

“Them” and “us”

I was ill for a number of months but I now feel much better. I am able to walk further than I ever could and I am determined to the best of my abilities to use a wheelchair less and less, partially because I see its use as a label of imposed separation. I do not and never have considered myself as belonging to that group referred to dismissively as “them” but rather to the collectivity of Cavan’s town people called “us”.

Very few people can share the sense of outrage and despair I suffered last year as I saw people from outside my town being invited to speak on its history. These experts “had their degrees” i.e. they had PhDs. But do I not have a PhD awarded in 1992? Maybe there are some who cannot “come to terms” with the fact that a PhD could be earned by a partially sighted individual?   Don’t get me wrong: I am not preaching a narrow parochialism or stating that only Cavan natives should be allowed to talk about its history. But when there is a Cavan native who can talk about it, and in an entertaining way, why should that person be ignored just because he has been blacklisted by some cowards in the council executive or because his father is not a town councillor?

Please forgive me if I have stepped on some people’s corns. I used to play an active part in the cultural life of this town: I would love to do so again.

Epilogue

(By the way, readers needn’t worry about “who he’s getting’ at”. I’m only getting at the same crowd of superannuated, impotent, God-forsaken fuckers as usual. Apologies to anyone who can’t rise to the occasion or get a hard on; I honestly didn’t have you specifically in mind.)

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Back on the register

It gives me great pleasure to say that my name and that of my father have been re-entered on the electoral register, therefore allowing us both to participate in the forthcoming presidential elections by means of our postal votes. I want to offer my deep and sincere gratitude to Ms Annas Cartlin of Cavan County Council for helping to bring this about and for putting to an end a truly absurd situation which was not of her doing.

 The farcical situation by which our postal votes were removed was brought about by the entire3ly unreasonable actions of the Department of the Environment. In 2010 they issued new regulations requiring that those who had postal votes must re-apply for them, together with a medical certificate testifying to their disability or infirmity. It is quite possible that some overpaid and demented mandarin actually believed that there were people who had postal votes on the grounds of disability who were as fit as fiddles, maybe dancing jigs at crossroads or auditioning for the Irish version of Nnja Warrior. Miracles may happen but the sad fact is that once you get some condition that limits your mobility you’re stuck with it, the only way is down, and it’s up to you to come to terms with it. So the idea that you had to then prove you were a cripple to a group of lazy bureaucrats who get stressed out if they have to walk too far down to the underground car park below their plush offices, is rather insulting, not to say insensitive.

 I sometimes wonder why these civil servants in the ministries are so misanthropic, Are they born like that and only recruited once they are able to offer signed testimony of pulling off butterflies’ wings or torturing kittens? Or do they undergo a special period of “training” where they are brainwashed into seeing that “The General Public” as “the enemy”, to be frustrated at all costs? This might include subliminal psychological manipulation, where each time the simple greeting “Hallo” or “Good Morning” is uttered in their direction they receive an electric shock. I think the answer may be simpler. Most of the senior civil servants’ arses are ravaged by chronic piles, the sad though inevitable result of sitting on their derrieres for decades. Now we are talking about mega haemorrhoids which reflect their status within their departments. They are there for life and no amount of Preparation H, Tucks, or sitting over steaming colanders of boiling salt water can help. Their daily existences are filled with excruciating agony which can only be assuaged by issuing silly directives targeting imagined enemies and fraudsters. Now I may seem to be talking the piss here, but I know what I’m talking about. Trust me, I’m a doctor! Senior civil servants don’t like coming out of the shadows, but occasionally some pesky Dail committee requires their presence; next time you see a secretary general watch and observe how he sits stock still. Any movement, to left or right would only set off old Nobby.

 It is rumoured that members of some of those kinky right-wing Catholic lay organisations with Latin names are behind a recent decision of the Vatican’s  Sacred Congregation of Rites to name St Norbert of Xanten as the patron saint of Irish Civil Servants.

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Lead kindly light

So FAS has now become Solus. I remember when FAS was launched; people said that what ANCO used to be called before it went bust. Before we all became green and environmentally aware we used to use Solus bulbs. This is relevant for the new organisation which I fear will inherit the culture of the old. How many Solus employees will it take to change a light bulb? At least a thousand; one to hold the bulb and 999 Solus officials to turn the room around, but we mustn’t forget the special, highly-paid consultants brought in at enormous cost from abroad to give their opinions on office lighting, as well as the cost of printing their report on the glossiest of paper. By this time though the money will have run out and so there won’t be any left for changing the bulb.

 FAS was charged with providing training that was supposed to lead to jobs. Unfortunately there was a mismatch between the courses and employment trends, so the courses were often irrelevant and useless. Certificates were sometimes not issued to those who had pursued the courses and the only people who seemed to secure jobs as a result of FAS’ activity were those employed already by FAS. And perhaps it is best to forget the way in which FAS was used as a private holiday club by a group of former directors, offering only first class flights and accommodation in five-star resorts.  FAS / Solus (whatever it is called) is big on intentions, but I somehow think the delivery will fall short of expectation.

 I was looking for an alternative name for the organisation. The closest I could come to was fearradh, which de Bhaldraithe’s dictionary says is the Irish for faeces.

 

 

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Lie to me

A few months’ ago Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore promised that there would be no further cuts in social welfare payments in the forthcoming budget, and unfortunately many people believed them. As for Kenny the only people who believe anything that comes out of that joker’s mouth is The Vatican, and we all know what a shower of pricks they are. As for Eamon Gilmore (yawn) he’s making me feel very old. I remember when he was a sticky.

 Minister for Social Victimisation Joan Burton has commitment issues, as she can’t make a commitment that there will not be cuts in benefits. She is talking some gibberish about getting greater value for money. What does she mean? One way would be to make the unemployed work for their dole by taking part in road gangs, or maybe cleaning out ministers’ gardens. Her department has long believed in the criminalisation of poverty and the first step towards this will be mandatory fingerprinting of all dole recipients, ostensibly in the interests of stamping out on that great evil Social Welfare Fraud. Done away with will be the nonsense that people are entitled to welfare benefits. It will be spelled out in no uncertain terms, that ALL welfare benefits are discretionary and are only to be made at the discretion of an employee of the Department. (Legislation to this effect already exists, having been passed by the last government but no one seems to have noticed it.) As for special benefits like the blind pension they may be made only to those people who prove unambiguously that they are totally blind by attempting to cross a busy road or street in the face of on-coming traffic, while unmarried mothers will be offered a choice between sterilization or having their children forcibly adopted and brought up by known abusers. This may sound tough, but it is only by tough decisions that our budget deficit will be reduced and our nation made safe for spivs to live in.

 The minister is being insincere, as any attempt to introduce greater value for money will be conducted by her own departmental officials who are part of the Civil Service, where work is an unwelcome activity that occasionally breaks out between coffee breaks or maternity leave, not to mention Flexitime – the phenomenon whereby nobody need be at their desks at any particular time. If the minister were sincere about introducing greater value for money in her department she’d downsize her staff. Who would employ those who would lose their jobs? There is only a limited demand in Ireland for lion tamers and snake charmers.

 The funny thing is that Joan Burton showed no such commitment issues when she got into bed with the blueshirts; she must have been aware that she was going to get fucked. She may not have realised that she was going to get fucked up the ass, not only by Kenny’s gang, but by her own party. She felt miffed at only getting the portfolio of Social Victimisation – widely seen as a poisoned chalice. I believe that it should be seen as an important ministry, not like the Cinderella portfolio of say Defence. Joan Burton is a clever and articulate person, and such a person is needed to face down the neo-fascists in that department. Yet I hope that she is prepared to fight to defend the rights of those who, like myself, are dependant on benefit payments. I fear that an Italian proverb is coming true. Chi va con lo zoppo impara zoppicare, Whoever walks with the lame learns to limp, or in the case under discussion is returned to, if your work involves dealing with a pack of inveterate liars you soon develop an elastic attitude towards the truth.

 If the Blind Pension is reduced for yet a third tune many blind people will be reduced to selling lottery tickets in the street as in Spain, or maybe begging at corners. The response of the voluntary organisations would no doubt be to urge the blind to relocate to special hostels where they would be fed on a diet of scraps and food donated by the public. My response would be to take to the streets and I would not be the only one.

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Enda the lawyer lashes out at the Druids

 

Some are calling Kenny’s tirade against Vatican interference in Ireland’s affairs a historic moment in the history of church and state. Certainly there are few – but they exist – who would disagree with the Prime Minister of a so-called liberal democracy castigating a state founded by a fascist government, which is ruled by old men and where there is no pretence of democracy which has sought to undermine efforts to protect his citizens from acts of sexual abuse. But, and there is a big but, why has it taken so long for an Irish government to get touch with the Vatican? The crimes of commission by a handful of priests and the crimes of omission committed by their bishops who protected them or moved them to locations where they could continue their foul deeds, have been known about by the dogs in the street for decades. It would only be a radical lefty with no hope of getting anywhere in Irish politics who would have given voice to such “slanders” against the church. The former bishop of Kilmore Dr Francis McKiernan, was never in any doubt that secular authority was always subservient to religious authority, and I don’t think he was unique amongst the Irish hierarchy in this.

 But there is one other aspect of Kenny’s speech which renders it more hypocritical. The Catholic Church, quite rightly, must be condemned for what it has done. If we were to believe Kenny it is the church and it alone who is at fault. What about the state authorities, the police, the health boards etc. who were also aware of what was going on, and who did sweet FA about it? Another area of deafening silence (excuse the cliché, but when talking of dishonesty I feel it is the most appropriate language) is that child abuse is continuing in Ireland as I write this, but the worst villains aren’t priests, but agents and employees of the state who work in centres charged with the “care” of young adults and children, or those involved in foster-care. The One-in-Four organisation has alleged that as many as nine out of ten reports of child abuse are not being investigated by the Health Service Authority, while the foster care regime in Dublin has been described as being in crisis, with many fosterers’ backgrounds not being checked.

 Those people who abuse children, the vulnerable, or indeed old people in nursing homes are truly evil, as evil as Josef Fritzl. But there are certain government departments, some of whose staff members are equally evil and cowardly. I sometimes think that such evil is a necessary prerequisite for their promotion. They often have free rein in committing acts of evil against those they believe to be too weak or frightened to defend themselves , and in a climate of economic hardship they can defend any action that saves money – and may very well be rewarded for it. Politicians seem either unable or unwilling to do anything about this. However many members of the church, the many good priests that Diarmuid Martin rightly talks about, are made fully aware of the victimisation of the poor and vulnerable carried on by the state. But no religious person would be allowed to defend them, as their criticisms of government policy would be swiftly swept aside with a remark such as “Who are you to talk?”

There is however a litmus test to Kenny’s sincerity. Does he support a possible Papal visit next year? This would be an opportunity for those elitist and narcissistic elements in the Vatican to come to Ireland, to strut their stuff, maybe to check out “The scene”. It would also be an opportunity for those whom Diarmuid Martin rightly refers to as a “cabal” within the Vatican and the Irish hierarchy to be rewarded for protecting child abusers. But there is one very practical reason why it should not go ahead. We can’t afford it.

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Corruption in Cavan County Council?

 Does corruption exist in Cavan County Council? One hears rumours, and I suppose there is no smoke without fire. However, they are only rumours, and I’ve never investigated them because, frankly I’m not interested in them.

 All I know is how Cavan County Council have treated me – very badly. They took away the job I had with them, though it was not much of a job. The pay was abysmal and I wasn’t even entitled to holidays, though I took them anyway. Then they have sought to wipe out my reputation as a historian, to the extent that I don’t exist and no one is brave enough to mention my name in some circles. But their most recent dastardly act, carried out ostensibly with the co-operation of the Department of the Environment, has been to take away my ability to vote in this year’s elections, along with that of my 91-year-old father.

 These cretinous acts belong to a mere handful of self-important nobodies in the organisation. The vast plethora of employees are simple, decent folk, though some of them have far too much time on their hands, yet this is a problem of ineffective management. Some of them used to be my friends, but during my recent illness only three came to see me or enquire after me.

 If Cavan County Council is corrupt I fear that it certainly isn’t alone among local authorities,, but then this sorry state of affairs merely represents their superiors in the Department of the Environment. They now have the impudence to assume that every household in Ireland pay a household charge, but let’s call it by its proper name: a poll tax. As for the minister he has the cojones to stand up to his officials. In fact, he is about as effective as a life-size mascot at a hurling club match in his native Kilkenny.

 

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Shame on you Minister Burton

The Minister for Social Victimisation has announced a series of cowardly reductions in the supplements for fuel, telephone calls gas and electricity. In the case of the latter, these have been reduced to 2007 levels, this at a time when many providers are announcing increases3s in their charges. This is expected to lead to savings of 17 million euro in 2011 – less than the amount spent over a few days in May on the visit of Queen Elizabeth and President Obama, The decisions regarding these reductions are particularly hypocritical, given that they have been made and will be implemented by people who inhabit well-heated offices from where they have access to unlimited quantities of free telephone calls.

 Eamon Gilmore’s defence of these cuts is both mealy-mouthed and pathetic. It’s no good blaming them on the previous government; you’re in charge now and you are under no obligation to implement them if you feel that they are unjust. But the Labour Party is led by a crowd of “comrade comfies” and pork-scratching “socialists”, for whom anything is just and acceptable so long as it keeps them at the trough of power. What’s more they are typical spineless  politicians, unable to stand up to their un-elected mandarins.

 I state again that this government is continuing the unpublished policy of its predecessor towards the old and infirm. This is nothing other than euthanasia. The hope is that the greater the level of discomfort, the quicker old people will die. A winter like the last one should thin their numbers, especially if they can’t afford to heat themselves. They may also die of loneliness, as they will be afraid to use their telephones. Let’s not forget thei shameful and cynical racket pursued by their buddies in the Departmenjt of the Environment which has seen many old and infirm people robbed of their postal votes. Without a vote they are of little interest to the politicians.

Of course this policy is not literally euthanasia. The term comes from the Greek and the prefix ευ implies pleasantness, whereas the type of θάνατος or death envisioned by these shameless cowards will be anything but pleasant.

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The dystunctional Health Service Executive

The conference of Irish hospital consultants held in Limerick has heard the HSE described as dysfunctional. I can think of other adjectives. Possibly the most apposite is that of evil. The HSE, together with other government departments, is the embodiment of what Professor Hannah Arendtr described as the banality of evil”. Most HSE operatives live fairly uneventful and unremarkable lives. They live in neighbourhoods and go to and return from work with alarming regularity. But how many people realise that they are living beside monsters? OK, not monsters in the Saddam Hussein sense of the word but people who nevertheless feel no qualms about inflicting pain or hardship on the least fortunate in society by their actions. But then,. Maybe, they are monsters too.

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Adult education classes in Cavan

This month sees the re-launch of Cavan Adult Education’s range of evening classes, and to the fore will be the usually over-subscribed “Basic Potty training for Adults”. Last year there was anger when it emerged that employees of the County Council had been secretly awarded places ahead of the general Public, and that they were not expected to pay the full fees.

 In an attempt to provide appropriate courses fitted to people’s needs, a special course is to be offered for senior managers who have problems who lack basic numeracy skills. The problem was highlighted by the recent budget overruns associated with the fleadh, and then by a recent survey which showed that the problem was widespread. amongst senior highly-paid management, and not confined, as had previously been thought, to janitors. The course will start with an introduction to the numbers, followed by simple arithmetic using the fingers. Course participants will then migrate to learning tables. Those who pass the course successfully will then be able to start working with calculators

 It is hoped that this course will be more successful than previous ones which aimed to help senior executives in local government with low literacy and letter writing skills. It transpires that even after completing previous courses many participants were not able to type even simple salutations on keyboards. Instead they were only able to scratch simple words like “cat” and “shit” in chalk or crayon on toilet and lift walls in the County Council offices. What’s more, when presented with a letter they fell back into old behavioural types, preferring to play “Spot the Ball”. Alternatively they would seek to gain the identity of the person who had written to them and who deserved a reply, and spread vile and unsubstantiated rumours about them. It is said that the walls of their offices (which reek of the nauseating odour of Preparation H)are festooned with photocopies of press photographs showing football players looking blankly into space, upon which lines in red and black ink have been drawn.

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A very brief message to Cavan’s self important nobodies

There will be some of you who will seek to excuse your shabby and inexcusable behaviour of me by saying that I have been, to use a cliché, the architect of my own misfortunes, I’d just like to say in reply. “Which came first: the chicken or the egg?”

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