Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

A view of the world from an Irish hole

Month: April, 2010

Young men of Ireland beware!

Tonight, April 30th, is Walpurgisnacht, the night when witches congregate on the Trocken in Germany’s Harz Mountains for their annual witches’ Sabbath.

 The name was said by some to come from a shadowy Anglo-Saxon nun called St. Walburga. However, there was a much longer cult among the German tribes of worshipping a forest deity called Waldborg. This traditionally occurred on May Eve. So deeply entrenched was the belief that the Christian authorities dealt with it by making Waldborg into St Walburga, whose relics were moved to the German town of Eichstatt on … 30 April which then became her feast in the Christian rite.

 The Sabbath on the Trocken wax always marked by excess. The witches met there with their master, the Devil or as they say in these parts, the lad with the horns. They engaged in wild and delirium-inducing dances, and after being laid prostrate by constant circular motions the Devil would have beastly carnal knowledge of them. Once awaken again they would compete with each other to satisfy his voracious lustful appetite, by taking his manhood in their mouths. At the moment of consummation they would allow the diabolical seed to spurt out onto the ground. Tradition held that wherever the Devil’s semen landed would be devoid of crops for seven generations.

 The air was often permeated by frightful growling sounds like thunder. This was caused by the gargling of other witches as they allowed the diabolical essence to course through their bodies. No matter how many times they gave head to their master, he remained unsalted.

 Similar Sabbaths were held in parts of Ireland. It was held that the locations where the witches spat out the Devil’s seed were marked by the plant long known in Irish as the Bohillan bui. This had poisonous effects on the soil and was also toxic to livestock.

 Walpurgis night falls fatefully this year on a Friday night, and so young Irish males returning at late hours from discos should be on their guard against the temptations of disguised witches. They should remember that these ladies have experiences and kills of sucking men dry with far bigger tanks than theirs.

Bashir victorious in Sudan

Aam de business bro

Surprise, surprise. Sudanese strongman and would-be break-dancing king Omar al-Bashir has won re-election in the country’s presidential elections. Now isn’t that a turn up for the books?

 Al-Bashir is a wanted war criminal, so he can’t travel that much outside of his country, except to visit other despots. He had been hoping for a relaxation on British travel restrictions, as he had set his heart on taking part in this year’s Strictly Come while Dancing. Being honest Omar, you’ll have to put in more practice before you could get by Len Goodman. Brucie wouldn’t mind you though. You could even stay in his gaff. Augusto Pinochet was his neighbour for a while, so he’s used to living beside blood-thirsty dictators.

All go in the church

Ireland’s TV3 network recently aired an exposee about two Irish priests working in Florida who used their parochial funds to pay for a five-star

Just resting in his account?

lifestyle of gambling and womanising. The priests, now in their ‘80s, are now serving jail terms.

 What they did was reprehensible, as it involved a betrayal of trust. But I couldn’t help feeling that stealing money, even in such large amounts, was certainly a lesser crime than systematically abusing children. They have offered to repay any money stolen. The hurt and anguish of sexual abuse however, leaves a mark which is often impossible to erase.

 They served in some of the most well-heeled parishes in Palm Beach, whose members dutifully kept putting large amounts in the collection plate each week, and may have viewed the Catholic Church as a necessary bastion against the evils of communism, socialism and secular humanism. Some of them may even have sought to have their donations set off against their tax liabilities. So the priests could hardly be painted as robbing from the poor. In fact, they were robbing from the rich, to give to the rich – themselves. They were slightly more just than the Irish government, who steal from the poor to give to the rich - and pay for the champagne lifestyles of politicians and public officials.

 What’s more, as the priests said themselves, they had never taken a vow of poverty. They were not like the Franciscans who have. They never said they were saints. They were not the first priests to live it up, gambling, drinking and whoring, and to pay for this by dipping into the collection. And historically, that’s just what most members of the hierarchy did. Remember that bishops still live in palaces and who paid for the still unnamed Irish bishop’s visits to London prostitutes? Did they get sex on approval or was it paid for by well-wishers in the laity? And then  there was the former Bishop of Limerickm, a big friend of Opus Dei who made no secret of the fact that he would only accept the best food and wine. *He loved Frankie

Please yourselves then

Howerd in Up Pompeii, especially the line when Nausius says “I feel like a new man” and Lurcio replies, “Well it’s always better than sticking with the old one”.

 I feel that a custodial sentence was a little harsh, considering their age, and considering the fact that figures in the hierarchy who knew about clerical sexual abuse (and responded by establishing elaborate cover-ups), have never served one day of imprisonment. And realistically the amounts they stole were chickenshit when compared to the loot lifted by Irish bankers. In fact Mary Harney would get through it in a few months.

 Personally, seeing the lifestyles they enjoyed, I have had reason to question my decision not to pursue a life in the church. The only problem was that they would never have a cripple in their ministry.

James Clarence Mangan (1803-49)

James Clarence Magna, who was born on May 1st, 1803, is now probably one of the most overlooked and misunderstood of Irish poets. For many his “fame” rests on one poem, which I do not consider his best.

 He was a self-taught polymath. Although he worked in a solicitor’s office, and an assistant in Trinity College Dublin’s library, he nevertheless taught himself seven languages: Irish, French, German, Spanish, Hungarian, Icelandic and Persian, to such a standard that he was able to make viable translations.

 Mangan was a man whose learning and erudition were too great for the increasingly blinkered world of nineteenth-century Ireland. Work and money were always in short supply. In order to assuage the pangs of hunger and frustration, Mangan turned to alcohol and laudanum. He died at the early age of forty-six in Dublin’s Meath Hospital, a location which was still as forbidding in the early 1980s when I had my tonsils extracted there, as it must have been in 1849.

 This is a personal opinion, but I think that Mangan is to be seen at his best not in the long declamatory odes but in the shorter, more intimate pieces, such as “And Then No More”.

 I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
‘Twas Eden’s light on Earth awhile, and then no more.
Amid the throng, she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more:
But whence she came, which way she went, which garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed awhile, and then no more!

He was very much a poet of the Romantic nationalist school, whose verses were inspired by a dram-like vision of Ireland’s past.  looking back to a dreamy Hibernian past which had never anything much to do with reality. One of the poems from this vein was “A Vision of Connaught in the Thirteenth Century”

I walked entranced
Through a land of Morn;
The sun, with wondrous excess of light,
Shone down and glanced
Over seas of corn
And lustrous gardens aleft and right
Even in the clime
Of resplendent Spain,
Beams no such sun upon such a land;
But it was the time,
‘Twas in the reign
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red hand.

The poem was taken up by the godfathers of Independent Ireland’s education. Appearing in numerous schoolbooks earning a near permanent spot on curricula. Its subject,  Cathal crobhdhearg O Conchobhair (died 224), was the brother of Ruaidhri, the so-call “last high king of Ireland”. It is fair to say that its picture of Connacht bore little link to reality. Mangan had only limited access to historical sources so his attitudes towards some historical figures like Cathal Crobhdhearg was imperfect. One in particular, gives an alternate, though no less praiseworthy description of Cathal crobhdhearg. It is his obit or death notice from the Annals of Connacht., in which he was described as

The king most feared and dreaded on every hand in Ireland; who carried out most burnings and plunderings on Gael and Gael who opposed him, who was the fiercest and harshest against his enemies that ever lived, who most killed, blinded and mutilated rebellious and disaffected subjects, who built most monasteries and houses for religious communities…

In his lifetime Mangan was viewed as a social outsider. He contributed to this outcast role through his behaviour, often dressing in a long black coat, wearing green spectacles and a blond wig. He underwent something of a bloated canonisation in the twentieth century, as he joined the pantheon of nationalist poets. But his new respectability was easily given once he was dead. It also failed to take account of his wide erudition, and the complexity and richness of his poetic vision which was never confined solely to Ireland. . 

Stamp issued by Irish post office on the 100th anniversay of Mangan's death in 1949

Child abuse in Ireland

Historically the greatest institutional child abusers were the Catholic Church.  This was carried out with the connivance of the Irish police and the various local health boards. This had thankfully sharply declined.

 Sadly child abuse, of a physical, sexual and emotional nature still continues and shows no signs of diminishing. Nowadays it happens with the knowledge and even participation of government bodies, probably the greatest of which is the Health Service Executive (HSE), who sometimes return children who have escaped from abuse in the UK to the very locations and environments where the abuse initially took place. \In this they are assisted by the Irish courts and legal system.

A land fit for pariahs

The BBC reports that President Ahmedinejad has arrived in Zimbawe on an official visit. Photographs show the two pariahs – Ahmedinejad and Mugabe – together. I’m not sure whether there are any Jews left in the country that he can insult.

I find it sstrange that when a bad-mouthed pseudo historian like David Irvine makes comments denying the Holo0caust he is (rightly) ostracised, but when a heade of state does it he suffers little by way of such a cordon sanitaire. I am sure he would be welcome in Ireland. 

But Mugabe’s days are numbered. I can reveal though that part of his exit strategy includes retiring to Ireland. This will be announced in conjunction with  his ttrip to Dublin to receive the Jim Tunney Memorial Gay Bashing award next year. President Bob has long complained how his rest has been disturbed by a homosexual on the farm he seized from its white owners. As for Ahmedinejad there are persistent rumours that he intends to apostasise from Islanm. This would mean automatic death. To avoid this he will stay in disguise in the Redemptorists’ Mother House in Limerick City.

Thomas D’Arcy McGee (1825-68)

This month (April) marks the 185th anniversary of the birth of Thomas D’Arcy McGee  – writer, journalist, politician and the man who founded

A father of Canadian national identity

Canadian identity.

 He was born in Carlingford, Co. Louth on April 13th 1825, where his father worked for the Irish coastguard, although his parents moved when Thomas was seven to Wexford. He was deeply influenced by the heroic nationalism, tinged with still fresh memories of the events of 1798. Ireland’[s struggle with England was age old, but her cause was just. It is interesting that in later life his anti-English sentiments never translated into anti-British feeling. He saw the British Empire, headed by the British Crown, as a desirable system capable of protecting the rights of all its citizens, regardless of their religious beliefs.

 His education in Ireland was, in modern terms, rudimentary, but the fact he went on to edit many newspapers and was noted for his oratory is a testament to the high standards of literacy that could be imparted from teachers from the “hedge schools”.

 In 1842 he left Wexford, first for Quebec and then for Boston, where his literary skills were recognised by Cavan man Patrick Donahoe, the editor of the Boston Pilot.  After serving as editor for a year he returned to Ireland, first to work for the Freeman’s Journal, and then The Nation. He became ever more involved in the Young Ireland agitation of 1848, eventually fleeing Ireland for America. However, he found Canada a far more attractive destination, in spite of the power of anti-Catholic groups like the Orange Order in many areas of life. In 1857 he moved to Canada permanently, soon after being elected a member of the Provincial Legislature. More significantly, he was soon appointed to the post of Minister for Agriculture, a considerable achievement for a newly-arrived immigrant still in his early thirties. He was in favour of the development of Canadian agriculture and industry behind high tariff walls, as well as the promotion of immigration. Throughout he maintained a sometimes bitter anti-American stance, viewing Canada’s southern neighbour as an unfriendly predator. He believed strongly in the need for Canada and Canadians to build a strong and robust Canadian identity, separate from that of America, This would be attached to an independent Canada that would nevertheless retain strong ties with the British crown. This was achieved, with D’Arcy McGee’s help, with the grant of Dominion Status to Canada in 1867.

 Although a strong believer in Irish nationalist aims, he was opposed to the Fenians, especially their attempts to invade Canada from America. A week before his forty-second birthday D’Arcy McGee was shot dead near the parliament building in Ottawa, a very rare example of assassination in Canada. His assailant, Dublin-born tailor Patrick Whelan, was a Fenian. He was eventually executed. While D’Arcy McGee’s death bore all the hallmarks of Fenian-inspired revenge, there were many, both in Canada and the United States, who believed that Whelan was only a stool pigeon of a faction of Canadian Orangeism, outraged by D’Arcy McGee’s advocacy of Catholic rights.

 His skills as a poet should not be overlooked. He is still remembered as the author of the poem “The Celts”.

Long, long ago, beyond the misty space 
     Of twice a thousand years
In Erin old there dwelt a mighty race
    Taller than Roman spears …

Cavan County Museum again causes air pollution

The toilets in Cavan County Museum in Ballyjamesduff ae blocked again. This has resulted in a malodorous cloud wafting uncontrollably over the town and surrounding countryside, seriously disrupting the weekly bus to Cavan.

Everyone must realise that the above is a joke, though in bad taste. It has been posted merely to annoy Cavan County Museum’s friends and well-wishers. I’m not sure who is working there now but I’m reliably informed that Dominic the doormat is gone, but more importantly Scotty the Research Officer has gone too. Now I think it’s fair to say that Scotty hated me. I don’t know why. I’d never met him or said anything about him. His area of expertise was diffrent to mine but he still contiues to try and encroach on what I’ve been doing for well over two decades. I think part of the problem was that he was listening to nasty things nasty people said about me. He shouldn’t have been listening to this crap, still less basing his assessments about me on baseless evidence. But far more, people shouldn’t have been spreading muck about others behind their back in the first place..

Lea’s Cross report gagging order

It is very hard to listen to news reports on RTE without a feeling of deep disgust. I have just heard about the understandable anger of the brother and sister of a man with Alzheimer’s Disease and Down’s Syndrome who died less than a fortnight after being transferred to the Leas Cross Nursing Home. It has taken until now for the Health Service Executive to finalise a report, but before it is handed over to the man’s family the HSE want them to sign a confidentiality clause – a gagging order – that would prevent them publicising its contents.

 This is 2010. What though is the difference between this outrageous demand and the similar gagging order that the former bishop of Kilmore wished to impose on the victims of clerical sexual abuse in 1975 – thirty five years’ ago? The calls on Cardinal Sean Brady to resign because he was associated with that shameful episode have been loud. Surely the demands for the resignation of the Minister for Health Matry Harney, who presides at the pinnacle of the HSE, must be louder. m (It is an open secret though that the HSE has long been out of the minister’s control. In fact it has never been under any effective control but operates as a state within a state.

 The substandard care at Leas Cross came to light not through the health service’s own investigations, which were at most perfunctory. The clamour of the relatives of those who had suffered in that dreadful institution were brushed aside. They were only acted upon when the scandal of Leas Cross was exposed by RTE’s Prime Time program.

 As my mother died suffering from Alzheimer’s I am affected by this. Honestly it makes me feel sick that in this great country of ours someone can die due and those responsible seek to hide their culpability. That doesn’t happen in free countries; it’s the stuff of dictatorship worthy of Argentina after the Dirty War.

 We may very well live in a post-Christian society in Ireland, but let’s remember one thing. The vast majority of senior management in government institutions were educated in Catholic secondary schools, which so jealously guarded their Catholic ethos. It didn’t seem to produce more Christian or caring citizens – maybe that was because so many of the clerical teachers were busy abusing their pupils.

 To be honest, I think that the senior management of the HSE, or anyone who supports this gagging order, should be taken out and shot. In fact, I think a bullet would be too good for such miserable scum.

Till Death do us part

Obituaries are a means of paying tribute to someone’s life. They can take numerous styles. One the one hand there can be the panegyric, which extols the person, mentioning their positive achievements and traits. maybe at the expense of anything that might detract from their memory. This may sound insincere, but in Ireland we have always had great respect for the dead and it is not uncommon to here people remark, even about the greatest scoundrel, that he or she “wasn’t the worse of them”.

 Then there is the obituary which is nothing more than a hatchet job, and which can often be nothing more than a cowardly settling of scores. Many Irish nationalist, as well as left-wing politicians from throughout the world, have long experience of such obituaries being penned by ostensibly literate journalists and being published in so-called “quality” British newspapers.

 But let us return to the role of the obituary. It serves as a memorial for a life, no matter whether the subject was the most powerful or the least distinctive member of society. It appears at a sensitive time, when the individual has passed from this world to the next, leaving behind grieving relatives and friends.

 Let me mention now a third category of obituary, which I will name the Cavan obituary. It is the product of one particular individual whom I will not name, though anyone from Cavan will know who I mean. This author has such contempt for the subjects of the obituaries he pens that he cannot be bothered to find out anything about them, or to check whether the “facts” he reproduces are accurate. One might consider such an individual as quaint, had he any literary skill. In fact, he is possibly the worst writer on the planet for whom rules of grammar or syntax are mere external and unwelcome encumbrances. I know of no one who has a good word to say about him, even including his close relatives. He is a shining example of mediocrity.

 This figure had worked for many years in local journalism, where he had displayed his lack of writing ability and his particular élan for writing obituaries. His retirement had been greeted with universal joy. However, so bored by his retirement had he become that his former employer brought him out of retirement, to do what? Write obituaries.  One of the reasons I refer to Cavan society as perverse is that someone who is so manifestly incapable of performing a task is allowed to continue doing it, while others who could do it better are never given a chance. Perhaps they are expected to provide their efforts for free to such mediocrities in the hope that maybe one-day pigs might fly.

 People will take the above comments as further evidence of the anger of the “clever cripple” Ciaran Parker whose arrogance and impatience have been his undoing and who has therefore never tried to “play the game.” But perhaps I am arrogant; certainly I have no taste to play any games with such mediocre sportsmen. Although disability has prevented me from taking an active role in sport I have nevertheless participated in many sports as a passionate observer. For me sport and games are about skill. Essential, though, to any sport is a set of rules observed by all participants. The problem about the “games” played in Cavan and in Ireland is that the rules are changes frequently and arbitrarily, to insure that the “right” people always win.

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