The missing minister
by planetparker
Minister for Agriculture Brendan Smith has gone into hiding once again, afraid to present himself to an angry populace. Indeed I might have thought that he had died but for a shameful appearance on Thousand-and-One-Knights radio, in which he never answered a question directly and presented classical symptoms of being brain-washed.
He was due to perform a function at Drumcrave National School, which has educated many of the finest of Cavan town’s
Diarmuid Wilson TD?
inhabitants, but Brendan – not for the first time – didn’t show up. No doubt he was closeted with Colm and the bankers. Instead it was left to senator Diarmaid Wilson to do the duties. This was a really stupid thing to do. The dogs in the street know about Senator Wilson’s ambitions to secure a seat in the Dail. Brendan seems to think that, just because he got 15k plus votes last time around, he lives an electorally charmed existence, but remember Eithne FitzGerald in the admittedly more fickle constituency of Dublin South. While Smith no doubt would eventually be able to crawl back in, I sense that if an election were held today he’d have trouble securing his deposit, even with the whole of Corlough and the Sextons voting for him. (Speaking of which, why couldn’t Martina have performed the functions? She’d have done as good, if not better job than “that thunderin’ eegit’ ‘Diarmaid.) Now far be it from me to say that this is going on, but Senator Wilson could start projecting himself as the man on the ground, with his finger on the pulse, while Deputy Smith becomes ever more distant and aloof, too closely aligned to an unpopular government and its shameful policies. Naturally, though, senator Wilson would do this while professing his complete loyalty to his party colleague. And once the election gets underway Diarmaid’s people have only to say on the doorsteps that Brendan will get enough votes and come the count he will be toast. But still he’ll get a nice fat pension and then there is always that wasteful institution which mimics pathetically the British House of Lords.
But maybe Brendan could do himself and the rest of us a big favour and fuck off. I remember when he was John Wilson’s sidekick how he accompanied him on an official visit to Russia and Siberia, prompting the late Veronica Sharkey to quip. “a pity he wouldn’t leave him there.”.
