Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

Yesterday RTE offered viewers the opportunity to watch the election of a Ceann Comhairle live on television. Why would I bother? If I wanted to see a group of pimps, prostitutes and serial masturbators attempting to persuade viewers that they weren’t impotent. It doesn’t matter how much viagra they take they still look and sound as if they’ve got no more cum left in their balls. Let’s be honest, there are less than a dozen men or women amongst them who have been tarnished by exposure to the gravy-train of politics. I could watch a porno DVD like Hard Mary Gets Fucked Up The Butt Again . What’s more the women would probably be far more alluring than any of the flabby, frumpy dogs in the Dail. What’s more the attempt to simulate cunnilingus might be more true-to-life than the flaccid verbal ejaculations to be heard from our legislators. You might be able to make a porno of what goes on there starring the Confederation of Irish Industry’s idea of crunpet Hairy Mary. This wouldn’t be like Rosey Dixon Nightnurse but would be real hard core featuring scenes where Hairy Mary gets fucked by a pianist on his piano or others with Hairy Mary doing it on athe government jet, and we all know that there are men who are prepared to pay a lot of money to see a hirsute bird getting rodgered.  It could be called with justification Hairy Mary Fucks The Country.

 But I have some pity for Jodie from Cahirciveen. He was given the bump for racking up ridiculous expenses. But why did he have to walk the plank while the cabinet slut was able to get away with as much? No one has yet found out that John O’Donoghue was entertained at taxpayers’ expense by a private bodhran player. The whole thing smacks of double standards. I doubt HJohn boy would disagree with the sentiment that we live in a hoorocracy.