Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

Like lovers of truth and fair play everywhere we must all be delighted at the successful conclusion to Monica Leach’s libel suit against Associated Newspapers. They had made the insinuous allegation that she had used her position as a special adviser to Minister Martin Cullen to gain business, that she and Minister Cullen had been having an affair, and they had given currency to the claim made by a so-called member of the PDs from Waterford on radio that Minister Cullen was having his cock sucked by her. Associated Newspapers have had to make a well-deserved grovelling apoiogy to Ms Leach and pay a hefty out-of-court settlement. In a statement made outside of the court Ms Leach said that this settlement should allow the newspapers to take stock of the situation, and think twice before attempting to besmirch the haloed reputation of those happily-married good family men whom God has placed over them with vile and hideous claims.
These allegations were so grotesque as to hardly warrant a serious rebuttal. They obviously came from people who were not having their cocks sucked sufficiently often.
The dogs on the street know that no special adviser has ever used their position to enrich themselves or gain public contracts. No government minister has ever had an extra-marital affair and I can state emphatically that, to my knowledge, no government minister has ever had his cock sucked – by anyone; they are all buttoned-up icons of probity. Furthermore not every government minister has a cock – why would they, they’re a crowd of pricks anyway.