Every picture tells a story – but not always the right one
by planetparker
I’m partially sighted, but even I can see that the recent photographs claiming to show the “Dear Leader” back in the saddle have been doctored – and rather crudely at that. In fact I think I would have made a better job of them when I used to edit photos. For Heaven’s sake, this is a regime that is supposed to be able to develop a nuclear warhead, as well as make oodles of counterfeit currency which is so good no one can detect it, and it can’t even doctor a few photos. No one need have any fear of North Korea firing off a couple of rogue missiles in some form of Korean Gotterdamerung. They have threatened to reduce their southern neighbour to ashes, but something tells me if they ever tried they’d only destroy themselves first.
But the personality cult of Kim Jong-Il and Daddy Kim is nothing if not hilarious. I remember a documentary about an ophthalmic surgeon who visited North Korea to carry out some eye operations. One of their patients was a woman who had gone blind twenty years’ earlier. On the day after the surgery the cameras stood to attention as the bandages were taken off. The woman cried: “I can see, I can see, and it’s all thanks to our Dear Leader Kim Jong-il”. Now if I had been the ophthalmic surgeon I might very well have said: “Well if that’s how you feel about it love you can shove it up your arse; a bit of gratitude wouldn’t go amiss.”
Few people outside the Hermit Kingdom know anything about daily (or nightly) life there. It is a little known fact that couples are told, upon getting married, that they must praise the Dear Leader when they experience an orgasm. The man is supposed to exclaim on coming: “Oh All praise to the Dear Leader for filling my balls with such copious quantities of spunk” while the woman is expected to scream: “It is only in the paradise which has been made by the Dear Leader for his people that I am able to experience such earth-moving pleasure.…” The ears of the secret police are everywhere, and failure to respond appropriate to the Big O can result in transportation to a labour camp or even execution, not to mention arrest of one’s close family.
