Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

I am disappointed that President McAleese, on one of her rare visits to the county, should come here to open an Orange Hall. The Orange Order means very little to the vast majority of inhabitants of this county. Its contribution to the history of Co. Cavan has always been divisive. Having said this I don’t see anything wrong with the Orange Order pursuing peaceful activities, in which it should be left unhindered and its halls and buildings should not be subjected to mindless vandalism. Remember that the Order closes its membership to the vast majority of the citizens of the island of Ireland. It has always espoused narrow sectarian views combined with socially reactionary policies. Maybe this is one of the reasons why the Irish government has suddenly become so generous to it. I don’t believe that it should receive marks of favour from the government of either of the jurisdictions on this island, nor should any other narrowly-based religious group.

In Ireland it often seems that those performing tasks fall into three categories; first there are those who do work voluntarily, without pay or renumeration. Sometimes the nature of the work is voluntary; the people doing it feel that the rewards they personally receive, especially if they are helping others, are payment enough. Other tasks have traditionally been unpaid, especially in the home and associated with child-rearing. For other volunteers, their unpaid status is mandatory, because no money has been allocated to what they do, no matter how important and vital it is.
The second group includes people who are paid, but usually not enough. They have been hood-winked into believe that they should look upwards and try to emulate their betters by striving for marks of material respectability, such as a good house and a nice car. They have always been encouraged to look down on the first group. They are among the greatest victims of the current financial mess in the world.

And then there are the people at the top. They receive huge renumerations for whatever they claim they do. This is only just, they complain, because of the amount of knowledge and responsibility they shoulder, and what’s more they complain about having to pay tax. They adorn themselves with trashy and self-important titles and are generally not receptive to criticism or outside inspection. We are told they are “cleverer than the average bear booboo” and they are supremely gifted, but if they’re so bright why is it everywhere’s in such a mess? It’s these people, whether in the public or the private sector that our elected leaders listen to.

They look with contempt on the former groups, possibly because they realise that it is only through luck and favouritism that they have been snatchee from these lower levels, as it is only in their self-praise and that of their cowed sycophants that they are viewed as talented.

One of their few talents seems to be in wasting money. Those who are at the bottom layer of society are often treated to the indignity of being told that their poverty is due to their lack of budgeting skills. But when you have little, you tend to value what little you have and are wary of bad value. I remember, during my cider-drinking days, asking for a bottle of the substance in the bar of a 5-star hotel in Ireland. Being something of a connoisseur of cider I was disappointed to learn that the only brand they had was a very popular brand which I considered should not have been allowed to call itself cider. But then my disappointment turned to shock when I went to pay for it. The price sought was roughly ten times that which would have been asked in an average Irish pub. What is true of cider is true of so much else involving consumption: the price reflects the amount that the customer is viewed as being ready to pay.

Those who really are talented have to suffer in silence and grit their teeth, as they are spat upon and treated with derision. They are never allowed into the loop, and if they live in some out-of-the-way locality they are sidelined.

I have been reminded of that great unfinished classic of 20th century literature, Jaroslav Hasek’s Good Soldier Svejk. I doubt the great sage who is our prime minister, mokey-man Cowen has ever read it.

His encomium of Roddy Molloy, who resigned as “director-general” of FAS was nothing if not nauseating. He was the very model of a good civil servant. So “good” civil servants, as well as being paid huge amounts of money, should also run up outrageous expense accounts, should bring their spouses with them on foreign assignments and should always travel first class? It’s good to know where the money’s going Brian.

A Cavan farmer is said to have been shocked at finding out all the cows in his herd have Bluetongue.
‘Be Jeysus!’ he said, ‘I didnt even know they had mobile phones!’

Felim rings Ryanairt to book a flight. The operator asks ‘How many people will be flying with you?’
Felim replies ‘How the fuck do I know? Its you shaggin’ plane!!’

The government has announced new legislation against beggars. Although it seems so cuddly and anodyne it will be used specifically against members of the Travelling community, “fucking foreigners” and “black Romanian bastards”. The gardai will have a field day. Non nationals will be specifically at risk of falling foul of the new legislation which is supposed to target those who threaten, interfere or annoy those from whom they are supplicating alms. So any bigot or right-wing shopkeeper can say that he has been threatened or that his customers have been annoyed by a non-national, who might very well be doing nothing worse than selling copies of the Big Issue. Now remember that many non-nationals have a poor command of English. He or she will not be able to stand up for themselves whyen PC Pig arrives and will be arrested and brought to the local cop shop, and we all know how much the gardai hate calling interpreters.
One positive aspect of the legislation will become apparent next summer when any of the hoors, especially the FFers, coming begging for people’s votes. I for one intend to tell them “Be off you lazy curs, or I’ll ger the guards!”

It’s curious that the legislation was brought in because of concerns that Ireland’s beggars were affecting our tourism industry and business sector. The Indian government for one will be keenly watching how things develop.

Taoiseach Brian Cowen has given his fulsome support to FAS supremo Roddy Molloy, following the controversy over how the state agency was able to run up bills in excess of 600,000 euro for participation of FAS executives at various events. This follows Mr Molloy’s own arrogant defence of his own practice of flying first class and bringing his wife along fo the ride.
I can’t help thinking here of the many FAS trainees who often have to stand out in heavy showers waiting for lifts to bring them to work. They don’t have the option of going first class do they.
Mr Molloy’s actions should demonstrate the nature of public spending in Ireland. It goes to keep fat cats like him; when governments decide to cut spending it is the people at the bottom who always suffer, not the types of Molloy who will continue to enjoy a pampered existence, while supposedly looking out for those less fortunate.
FAS (or ANCO as it used to be called) is, based on anecdotal evidence, one of the most inefficient and corrupt organisations in the state. It should be wound up or seriously reformed, but that will never happen because there are too many fat cats, or cats in serious danger of obesity, who have a vested interest in keeping the show on the road as it is. For years FAS schemes have been a source of cheap labour for a whole range of institutions, especially at local government level. Trainees are supposedly given skills, but even when they get these there are not always jobs there for them. My own experience of people on FAS schemes is that they are a really enthusiastic group of people, who very often are being cynically exploited.
There used to be a whole lot of very unfair barriers preventing certain categories from joining FAS schemes. For one, married women were often unable to get places, but I know of one instance where the wife of a very well-paid individual who was in charge of a very important institution in what we’ll just call the heritage area, got a place on a FAS scheme working in her husband’s institution.
Cowen’s endorsement of his good friend Molloy should hardly surprise anyone. You could say it was simlar to a code of mutual support amongst a branch of the mafia. An Irish proverb comes to mind: Aithnionn ciarog ciarog eile…

Like lovers of truth and fair play everywhere we must all be delighted at the successful conclusion to Monica Leach’s libel suit against Associated Newspapers. They had made the insinuous allegation that she had used her position as a special adviser to Minister Martin Cullen to gain business, that she and Minister Cullen had been having an affair, and they had given currency to the claim made by a so-called member of the PDs from Waterford on radio that Minister Cullen was having his cock sucked by her. Associated Newspapers have had to make a well-deserved grovelling apoiogy to Ms Leach and pay a hefty out-of-court settlement. In a statement made outside of the court Ms Leach said that this settlement should allow the newspapers to take stock of the situation, and think twice before attempting to besmirch the haloed reputation of those happily-married good family men whom God has placed over them with vile and hideous claims.
These allegations were so grotesque as to hardly warrant a serious rebuttal. They obviously came from people who were not having their cocks sucked sufficiently often.
The dogs on the street know that no special adviser has ever used their position to enrich themselves or gain public contracts. No government minister has ever had an extra-marital affair and I can state emphatically that, to my knowledge, no government minister has ever had his cock sucked – by anyone; they are all buttoned-up icons of probity. Furthermore not every government minister has a cock – why would they, they’re a crowd of pricks anyway.

A Muslim is sitting next to Felim from Cavan on a plane. Felim orders a whiskey.
The stewardess asks the Muslim if he’d like a drink too. He replies angrily:’I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let alcohol touch my lips!’
Felim hands his drink back & says ‘Me too, I didnt know we had a choice!’

I am outraged that poor John Sergeant feels he must withdraw from Strictly Come Dancing because there is a possibility he might win it.

John has been subjected to a barrage of ageist comments from the superannuated pack of twits headed by Len Goodman (who is no youngster himself) who plainly see the Strictly experience as an opportunity to promote themselves and their friends in the professional dancing community. some of whom they obviously fancy. Poor John, being sixty-four and balding, just hadn’t a hope against some of his rivals.

The fact is that the Great British public have identified with John and laud his efforts, far more than they do with the likes of the fit (in all senses of the word) supermodels and rugby players whose “abilities” and antics only appear in the tabloid press.

What of those hundreds of thousands of people who have voted for John? Most of them are television licence hoders, and their fees help put on Strictly Come Dancing and pay the no doubt not inconsiderable fees of the judges.

The format of a dance-off gives the judges too much power. It wasn’t John Sergeant who bumped Cherie Lunghi off on Saturday; it was the judges.

So the message is that if you are over a certain age, and you’re not as fit as a flea, and you’re not able to dance to the standards of Len Goodman and co., don’t even think of applying to go on the show. Peter Mandelson take note.

For my part I’m never going to watch the show again. There are already enough programmes on TV promoting the egos of “celebrities”, most of whom Ive never heard of.