The life of Brian
by planetparker
Pootr Brian oge. He was born with a silver toe up his arse and went through his existence always looking on the bright side of life. He never had to worry about being taught in a huge class full of little horrors fighting with each other or otherwise vying for the teacher;s attention. It was all going so well for him, and then he was given a speech to read, which he did, but never bothered to look at what he was saying. He was a bit like a fellow who makes the transition from the potty to the grown-ups’ toilet and can’t understand why nobody wants to know about his great success. He had obviously started to believe the crap about his great intellectual abilities, and never realised how he was being led by the nose into a quagmire. On the sidelines cheering him on were those in his party who feel he has risen too far too soon. But those two PD councillors in Galway really took the biscuit, resigning over medical cards, when it was their over-fed leader who egged on Brian in the first place.
Is there anyway back for Brian oge now? He’s eaten humble pie but it’s obvious he prefers filet mignon with a nice Medoc. He will forever be known as the guy who tried to nick the medical cards from the oul’ fuckers, many of whom had voted for his party just to get the cards in the first place.
My advice to him would be to consider an image make-over. That crue-cut, sharp, yuppie image is about two decades out of date. He should instead consider growing his hair long – real long, sitting back and taking a spliff, he could think of singing “Every Sperm is sacred” at a Spuc conference, and next time he’s given something to read out in public he should politely refuse. This way he might just avoid getting crucified.
