Well done Jason
Everyone on the island of Ireland is delighted by the success of Jason Smyth at the Paralympics in Beijing. One gold would be great but two is mega! Keep up the great work!
Everyone on the island of Ireland is delighted by the success of Jason Smyth at the Paralympics in Beijing. One gold would be great but two is mega! Keep up the great work!
Cavan was host to scenes of rowdiness and hooliganism on an unprecedented scale last week following the Derby five-a-slide game between Knockbride Knights and Ballyduff’s Museum Morons. A tense mood predominated throughout the first half but the trouble started at half time when Knockbride Knights’ striker (back after a prolonged illness) approached the Morons’ goal mouth and threw the contents of a small sack into it. These included animal bones, bird feathers, used toilet roll, as well as charred pieces of wood and scorched orange peel. Their deposition was accompanied by an incomprehensible diatribe delivered in a high-pitched effeminate voice. All of this was interpreted as witchcraft by the Morons, who surrounded the Knights’ man and gave him a good beating, causing him to shit himself visibly. His team mates ran to his assistance and a thoroughgoing melee ensued. Meanwhile fighting between rival fans has broken out in the terraces. A local garda attempted to separated the combatants but was hit by a sharp object thrown by the crowd in the groin. He was rendered unconscious but has since made a full recovery, though any plans he might have had about being a father have been dashed. Meanwhile local members of the Civil Defence, fire brigade and YMCA fired a mixture of tear gas and piss supplied by the County Council into the crowd, causing a rash of coughing and farting and setting off a stampede towards the toilets in which a number of people were injured. Later on the centre of Ballyduff resembled a war zone with rival gangs launching sporadic attacks on one another. A terrified resident who spoke on conditions of strict anonymity was certain as to what had provoked the trouble. “It’s all them fuckin farners an’ black bastards. Ya can’t even get a daysent plate o’ shite annymore here since the Percy French was closed.”
(It goes without saying that, like all reports of football matches in Cavan, I am not the author of the above but have filched it from its real author who will most definitely remain unknown.)
… Now whooze he gettin’ at there?
On a recent visit to the website of Cavan County Council I observed a logo promoting Cavan tourism which proclaimed: “Cavan – come and stay”. Well I always knew they were a crowd of wankers!
I also saw publicity for Medieval Day in Cavan County Museum, Zoo and Natural Healing Centre. Amongst the spectacles will be a rat catcher – well there’s certainly enough of those in that institution. Maybe the curator could perform Reiki on them – that’s if he’s ever at work. And maybe Dr Brendan Scott, Research Officer, can demonstrate aspects of medieval pluming, though as an officer, he’s probably far too grand to work Sundays.
An Islamic preacher in Nigeria has been arrested for having no less than eighty-six wives and refusing to get rid of 82, thereby leaving him with the permitted four. Jaysus, one’s bad enough – I always knew there was something strange about them muslims!
Reports from Mauritania say that over a dozen soldiers have been killed recently near the desert town of Zouerate. Their slayers were apparently islamic militants closely linked to those still fighting in Algeria. When the generals decided to take back power last month in Mauritania, the move was greeted by an ominiously-worded statement from Al-Qaeda in the Maghreb warning them to expect trouble.
Mauritania is a big country, with lots of desert but not many people – perfect for training insurgents. Following the military seizure of power the US suspended all non-humanitarian aid to the country. This included military training and assistance. It is highly probable that it may be resumed fairly soon to combat this new manfestation of potential terrorism – that’s if anyone in the US state department can find Mauritania on a map – it’s that big country south of Morocco – what do you mean “where’s Morocco?” It’s on the map of Africa … you don’t know where Africa is?
The agreement reached in Zimbabwe between Mugabe and Morgan Tsvangirai is surreal to put it mildly. Anyone who expected anything to come out of the talks sponsored by “lame duck” Mbeki (and there weren’t many) must feel had. Where is the “ceremonial presidency” to which Mugabe was going to retreat? So Tsangirai will control the police, but President Bob’s got the army and what’s more they’ve got bigger and better guns. And all the time the country is sliding down the toilet with massive inflation, shortages of even the most basic commodities and dizzying rates of unemployment. If anything it seems that President Bob in an unusual sign of benevolence and magnaninity to his bitter opponents has decided to let them come aboard the sinking ship, maybe for its last moments’ afloat – if it still can float.
The latest edition of the Cavan Post contains information about the book: Cavan: A land of Water, Earth and Sky written by yours truly and illustrated by Jim McPartlin. I am really grateful to all at the Post, including Damien, Ronan, and the ever-talented Andrea for their enthusiasm in helping to promote the book.
A British Cable television company is carrying a series of documentaries presented by Russ Kemp into British gangland culture. One of these is being advertised in the most disgustingly racist way. Viewers are told how they will see how “Bulgarian Gypsy Bands” are terrorizing parts of the UK and simphoning off huge amounts of money. Am I alone in being shocked by such thinly disguised xenophobia? How easy it is to tar all with a poisoned brush: it can be broken down easily enough into Bulgarian Gypsies + Gangs and reassembled with the added message that all Bulgarian Gypsies are gang members and are terrorizing wherever they happen to live. Is the Attaka political party financing this program?
In the early 1980s a handful of Russian Jewish migrants to New York gained a fairly sordid reputation for violence and racketeering. I wonder how far a television program exposing Russian Jewish gangs would have got.
On examining the search terms used by people who have come upon my fair blog I noticed one term wih dismay: “Ciaran Parker Brendan Scott”. I feel resemtful to be linked with such a w*nk*r even in the search criteria of a deranged internauter.
A friend told me today about a poor Roma woman here in Cavan who has been forced to scavenge in dust-bins for food and clothes. Being a true witness to her Christian religion, my friend undertook to give her some clothes, after she overcame the language barrier and realised what she wanted. The response of other Cavan people was not so generous or so Christian. A nice, self-satisfied couple were dismissive of my friend’s efforts, sneering that the woman was probably a Moslem. Now I thought that the attitude, so dear to Ireland’s clerico-fascists, which equated dark skin with heathenism or paganism had disappeared long ago. Let’s not forget its tragic consequences, as when a number of Irish volunteers in Franco’s army during the Spanish Civil War came upon some members of General Millan Astray’s Moroccan soldiers. These were dark=skinned, and the good Irish blueshirts naturally thought they must be Godless communists: they couldn’t be fighting for faith and fatherland and yet not be shite. So they fired on them. The Moors returned fire, but unlike the Irish boys who had probably never shot anything more than a few rabbits or some pigeons the troops from North Africa were combat-hardened soldiers who rarely missed when they took aim. As a result quite a number of the Irish blueshirt volunteers in Spain died as a result of “friendly fire.”
No one’s sure how many Roma died in Hitler’s concentration camps. Estimates differ between one and two million. Certainly over twenty thousand were exterminated in one day at Auschwitz. But our hostility to the Roma is predictable given our prejudice towards our own travellers – our very own ethnic minority whom we can feel self-righteous about discriiniating against. The problem is they aren’t an ethnic minority; they’re not members of a different ethnic group but our close relatives.
Prejudice often stems from a need to pretend to be superior to other people, especially if deep down those who are prejudiced sense their own inadequacy. Whenever I hear a racist remark I feel sick. I also feel unclean, as if my personal space has been sullied. One of the reasons I am so much against racism and xenophobia is because I am disabled. I know that the prejudice and hostility directed against migrant workers or people of different skin colours or sexual minorities or any other handy group could be turned on the disabled. Such hostility already exists and is acted upon in Ireland, and in this county even. Those who are guilty of it are public bodies such as the County Council. What makes this prejudice different is that it is rarely ennunciated in words, but rather through actions, and indeed those who do it are often pledged (albeit hypocritically) to help the disablled, but I will leave exposure of these cowardly dwarves for another time.
It does my heart good to know there are good people in this world and in this town who are not touched by evil and a desire to do other people down.
