Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

News has reached us from South Africa of a rather bizarre accident on the rails. It seems that two people who were having sex were run over by a goods train. The couple refused to desist in spite of the frantic efforts of the driver for them to get out of the way.

Surveys have shown up some unusual locations; hospital beds, lifts, churches, confessionals, libraries, museums (though not the one in Ballyjamesduff!), even coffins, but railway lines? Sometimes these are prompted by domestic difficulties. During my days in the shadowy world surrounding the academic world there was a couple who were definitely stuck on each other (by the wayt they both hold lectureships in different locations now.) Theyy did everything but the business in front of their colleagues, who were usually glad for a bit of light relief, but a friend of mine (who frankly wasn’t getting much himself either on or off the pitch) commented somewhat puritcanically “Have they no homes to go to?” to which I replied that maybe their parents were very conservaitve and wouldn’t approve.

But often it is exhibitionism which pushes couples to get their rocks off in public as well as a desire for danger. This is what appears to have occurred in South Africa – an extreme form of unsafe sex. It is possible that one or both of them found the vibration of the rail-lines a real turn-on. Readers willl know how it often happens that when you’re just about to go over the top or hit the ball into the back of the net, you kind of loose touch with reality. So I suppose that the two victims of the crash had successfully attained simultaneous orgasms and were literally deaf to the passionate entreaties of the engine driver.

I hope this does not lead to copy-cat incidents around the world. It does show that there is much more to safe sex than using a rubber Johnny.