Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

I’m a child of the sixties, and I suppose I wasn’t really there because I remember it slightly. So the sight of Russian tanks thundering through territory where they’re not wanted reminds me of Prague in 1968.

Now Putin’s actions are easily explained as nostalgia for the old Soviet Union, but the actual object of the nostalgia may not be fully realised by observers in the west. Like so many things in the world Russia’s aggression towards Georgia is motivated by good old penis envy. For Putin and co the days they look back on with fondness were the ’70s when Russian women went in droves to Georgia because Georgian men were known to be much better lovers, and much keener on giving them satisfaction than Russian males with their industrial, “slam-bam-thank-ye-ma’am” attitude to sex. The average Georgian washed regularly and actually cared for and looked after his equipment, in contrast to the Russian counterparts whose genitalia stank to high heaven and let’s face it sex isn’t much fun if you have to hold your nose before, during and after the performance. So Ivan and Vladimir and Dmitri had to stand back in horror as their mini-skirted Irinas and Nadias headed to Tbilisi or the Black Sea for some R&R Soviet-style. They could do nothing except down more vodka, which only made matters worse.

I’m reminded of a joke from those days which tells about how a Georgian brings his Russian bride back to their wedding-suite. He’s impatient, so he throws her onto the bed, pushes up her dress, opens her legs and goes into action, but no matter how hard (no pun intended!) he pushes he just can’t effect penetration. After a while his cock’s starting to get really raw but then finally he makes it. “Phew” he says. “I never realised you were still a virgin.” “Virgin my arse” she replies, “but you shoulld have taken my tights off first.”