Ciaran’s Peculier [sic] Blog

Yesterday (Wednesday) I went for my daily “fun-run” with my assistant Pat. Pardon me for being so self-obsessed with my miser4able health but I do see a need to keep my joints as supple as possible. On the way back (not far from home) I encountered a re-appearance of my agoraphobia when aproacching a neighbour’s front gate. For a while I just couldn’t pass the open space. I thought to myself. “How far you have fallen Ciaran”, as I remembered being able to walk not so long ago with such purpose, and now I’m often afraid to walk by an open space even while being linked on one side. (I’m just sharing with you how I feel; the last thing I would want from anyone is sympathy. I’m sorry if I offend.) However, I stuck my courage to my sticking-post and I eventually summoned the wherewithal to get past, and, realising that Pat would not let me fall I got from one pier to the other.

I was feeling happy when I got home until I went on my computer and saw a message from some bastard whom I didn’t know and I had never met who deliberately misrepresented what I had said in my post “The Invisible Man”. Such mendacious misrepresentations of my comments are sadly nothing new. He was outraged that I had had the temerity to compare myseslf with the great Dr Brendan Scott, Research Officer of Cavan County Museum (bad boy Ciaran), and further sought to bamboozle me with a list of the illustrious professors who were coming to Dr Scott’s conference. He listed these stars of the academic firmament along with the universities which employed them, a very pretentious touch which reminded me of the joke about the woman running along the beach crying: “Oh help, help! My son – the engineer – is drownin, Many of them  happen to be long-standing friends of mine so the desired effect was somewhat vitiated.  I told the writer what I thought of him (as well as where he could go), in an e-mail.

I am amazed at the hostility that exists towards me. I’m neither a poodle nor a prostitue, so I haven’t an obsession about being liked, but I’m not that bad of a person. But if someone whom I don’t know, and who doesn’t know me, has the audacity to attack me they must not be surprised if I hit back.

I wantt to make a few things clear. I have never held any hostility towards Dr Scott, although he seems to entertain some hostility to ne. Not alone has he not invited me to his conference but he has never invited me to one of the lectures he has organised in the museum. Furthermore I’ve never been furnished with a list of speakers at the conference.  But let that pass.

I am sure –  sincerely sure - that Dr Scott iss a historian of the highest calibre. I am also convinced (and this will cause much grinding of teeth I’m sure, but what matter) that I am as good a historian as he is. I am sorry that I have not had an opportunity to read any of his work. This has not been out of disrespect. (I suppose I’m a bit wary of getting anything published by Four Courts for fear that an Opus Dei tract will fall out of it.)  I have heard of some of his publications from mutual friends, and expressed an interest in reading them, perhaps with a view to writing a review in my Echo column, though this might be seen as far too lowly and plebeian.

I hope that this isn’t misunderstood but, as Dr Scott (I’d much prefer to call him Brendan but that might seem impertinent) is so good it is truly sad that his talents are being wasted in a clapped-out museum in the arse-hole of Cavan. Does he know who his predecessor was? He didn’t hold a PhD, whatever else he might have once held – now there is an act that must be difficult to follow. Maybe this conference is part of his plan to get out. If it is I truly wish him the best of luck. He may have felt that my presence would have embarrassed him. He need not have worried, because, even if I had been invited, I wouldn’t have attended. The museum is a place which holds bitter memories for me. I had got over this a bit, but the way this thing has been handled has renewed my vow that hell will freeze over before I ever enter that place again.

One final thing. Have the people on the museum’s FAS scheme been invited to the conference, and if not why not?

Ich hab’ genug gesagt. Life is too short so please leave me in peace now.